Tag Archives: teens

Independence

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Independence Day usually makes me think about flags waving, fireworks, barbecue, and homemade pretzels (our family tradition). After just getting back from serving with One Heart Many Hands, my thoughts have drifted onto an independence tangent. Why? Because we were with teens. Nearly one hundred of them. Day and night. For seven days straight.

You may wonder whatever possessed us to go on an adventure with teens. If you met my husband, you might understand part of his motivation. He’s a big kid at heart and loves the opportunity to act wild and crazy and be applauded for it. He’s quite the entertainer. I’m better in small groups or one on one or behind the scenes. Regardless of personality type, both of us know teens are at a crucial stage of development.

The teens in our group ranged in age from 12 to 18. It was fascinating to see where each student was in the quest for independence. Some had never been away from parents for an extended period of time, while others had been on many expeditions without family and were prepared to leave for college in the fall.

The service experience helped all of them explore the type of person they could become. They were thrust out of their comfort zone, giving up private rooms and hours to escape into the internet. Their eyes were focused on the needs of others. They saw poverty and felt the actual rotting wood and crumbling cement of decaying homes. They actively helped make living conditions better for people they just met. They learned to work even when they were tired, bruised, or itching from poison ivy. They discovered how it felt to be a productive member of society. An added bonus of being part of One Heart Many Hands was that they saw a ripple effect where their small effort fed into a flood of kindness from people all over the United States.

I’m proud our country declared independence back in 1776. I’m also proud that we have teens exploring their independence in positive ways. Instead of complaining about the direction teens are headed, let’s keep providing them with opportunities to develop into compassionate, hard-working adults.

Paint Rollers and Role Models

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Paint Roller Pic

When kids are little, moms are amazing. During my kids’ first decade of life, I was always in high demand. I was recruited to squeeze play-doh out of a plastic pony whenever it got stuck, drink luke-warm water out of tea cups, and blow soap bubbles in the wind. If they had questions, they came to me, trusting I had the answers. They pretended to be me, wearing my shoes, and copying what I said and did.

When kids are teens, moms start losing brain cells. During my kids’ second decade of life, I’m occasionally needed. I’m recruited to drive them wherever they need to go, watch their games and music programs, and help them paint their room (yet again). If they have questions, they sometimes come to me, but they aren’t sure I always have the answers they want. They stopped pretending to be me, outgrew my shoes, and often copy what their friends say and do.

And yet—I still see them reflect some of my character traits. Usually that’s a good thing, as I’m a decent person, but sometimes I see an attitude that mirrors mine that makes me cringe.

“That picture makes me look horrible. Delete it,” said my youngest teen.

“You look great,” I replied.

“No, I don’t. I look like I swallowed a tire and my hair is sprouting wings.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re beautiful,” I said. (Encouraging, right?)

“Like you aren’t hard on yourself?”

Crud. And just like that, my good mom points dipped back down. If I’m going to help my kids develop positive traits, I need to make sure I’m being the best role model I can be. As I explore character traits, I will approach it from how to strengthen traits in all of us, and then search for methods and books that will help us get those traits ingrained in our kids.

Time to get the paint roller. This time we’re going oasis blue.

Teen Tug-of-War

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week1 pic--library

I can’t pass for a teen anymore. A few gray hairs are sneaking into my hair, bags are forming under my eyes, and extra pounds are refusing to acknowledge that I work out every day (okay, almost every day).

But I still gravitate to the young adult aisles in my public library—even when my teens aren’t with me. I’d like to say it was all because I’m being a good mom, reading books that my kids read so we can discuss them. That is a factor. But I’m also invading the teen section because I love reading books from every age group. Pete the Cat makes me start rhyming. Junie B. Jones cracks me up. Voldemort gives me the chills. My imagination gets cramped when I stay entirely in the book aisles geared specifically for adults. That’s probably why I’m an author for children and teens.

Lately, I’ve noticed a concerning trend in teen books. While there are still many decent books, I’m seeing more and more books specifically geared to young adults that I do not want my teens to read. Books with innocent sounding back covers are often laden with confusing messages. I’m not a censorship advocate, but COME ON.

Maybe some authors feel they need to incorporate sex and drugs to make their stories more thrilling. After all, it doesn’t do any good for us to write books if they’re just collecting dust on the shelves, while teens stay glued to a variety of screens. But isn’t it possible to write books that entertain and yet still encourage the next generation to make wise choices? Stress, confusion, and depression are already being fueled by media promoting unrealistic physical standards, sexual entanglements, and drug use. Why fan the flames by promoting the same elements in books?

There is a tug-of-war going on for our kids and teens today. Parents now have more outside forces to battle to keep kids on a positive path. I’m not ready to admit defeat. My kids are too important. Your kids are too important. I’m going on a quest to find ways to encourage the character traits that our society is trying to tear down. I would love to share what I find with you in this weekly blog. Together, we can make a difference.