I knew complaining was going to be a hard habit to break, so I figured extra motivation was required. A visual reminder was what I needed to keep my goal front and center, so maybe it will help you, too. Last week I mentioned seven methods to decrease complaining. I’ll list them again in case you need them.
- Tell close family or friends about your decrease whining goal so you are held accountable.
- Transform complaints into solutions. If there is something that will help the problem—do it.
- Change “have to” to “get to”.
- When you discover yourself whining, add a “but” and say something positive.
- Distance yourself from chronic complainers. (At least during your own complaint detox.)
- If you must vent, do it on paper so it doesn’t affect others.
- Don’t give up if you don’t suddenly stop whining. Keep trying.
I didn’t want these to be empty words that sat on the page, so I determined to put them into action. I followed step one and told my family that my goal was to cut down my complaining. (They probably were cheering, but had the common sense not to do it out loud in my presence.)
I then made a Complaint Vent Journal. It started out as a plain notebook with “Complaint Vent Journal” scrawled across the top, which should be good enough. The crafty side of me craved more, plus I had trouble remembering steps two through four, so I pasted them to the cover (along with a couple other complaint reminders).
Whenever my insides started boiling, I pulled out my journal and began venting. I enjoy journaling at night, but this was a place for me to be as negative as I needed throughout the day. Here’s where my mind training came in to play. After my rant, I chose one step from the journal cover. When I transformed a complaint into a solution, my vent about the lack of a traffic light on the corner of 159th street that caused an extremely long line of traffic, was followed by a plan to drive an alternate route. I changed a “have to” to “get to” by changing that I “have to” cook dinner each night to I “get to” cook dinner for my family. I’m blessed with plenty of food and a family to share it with. I added a “but” with something positive when writing about the exhaustion I felt each day after work “but” I get to make a difference in the lives of autistic kids and earn an income.
Yes, it took extra time, but it was worth the effort. I tallied my complaints at the top of the page for each day. There was a significant decrease by the end of the week. You’re welcome, family.
of the other kids started screaming because of the noise…” On and on I ranted. It was seriously a case of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day spewing from my mouth.